And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
