Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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