My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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