i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
