I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Houston, we have a blender
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
