nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
