Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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