Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
