Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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