Whod you bang
You really coming over, don't trick.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
