Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Non-Jews are for practice
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
