You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
