everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
