Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
