nut hugger
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
