Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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