my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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