we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So squirting runs in the family.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
