god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
