Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
