New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just threw up on my dentist
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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