The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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