party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
