Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
