Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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