have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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