I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
