Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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