And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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