That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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