Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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