can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
