If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
