How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
