I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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