How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ladies don't puke and tell
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
