i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
