She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
