The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
