no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
