i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
