Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
