Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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