We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
