just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
