i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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