just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
