i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
