I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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