I want to stick my p in your. b.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
