he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
