GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
