I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
