I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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